By Pamela West

When your child hits 8, it’s high time you explain to him or her about sex. The trouble with most parents, especially first-timers that they find it hard or a little awkward to give the bird and bees speech to their children. But, should it be really that complicated?

In this article, we’ve rounded up tried and true tips and tricks on how to talk to your kid (8 – 15 year-old) about sex effectively.

What Children Should Understand About Sex by Age

Age 5

At this stage, your little one should have a rough idea of where and how babies come to existent. You should give the ‘mom and dad made you’ speech. More than that, you should be prepared to answer more questions. If your child is a firebrand and demands to know more details, you might want to tell him or her about “sperms the tiny cells that live inside your dad came together with mom’s egg to form a baby” story.

Ages 6-7

A 6 or 7-year-old is more curious about sex than you think. However, you should be able to explain to the fundamental understanding of intercourse. You should tell them that “God or nature” created female and male parts to fit together like “puzzle pieces.” Do not be afraid to explain that when a vagina and penis fit together, the tadpole-like sperm swims up to mom’s egg. At this stage, you can also talk about relationships and sex. You might want to explain clearly that sex is one of the most important ways people show affection or love for one another.

Ages 8-9

You should not be fooled at this point. Your little one has already picked up hints and ideas about sex from their peers and media. With the internet buzzing with lots of confusing information about sex, you want to swoop in and make it straight for him or her.

The good news is that you can talk to your 8-9-year-old on just about any sex topic, including sensitive ones like rape. You should dig up on the part where sex is an aspect of a loving relationship. When talking about rape, say: “rape is when a person forces unwilling individual to have sex.” You should make it clear that rape is condemnable and incredibly wrong.

Ages 9-11

At this age, the sex debate begins to hot up for your child. After all, it is at that time your kids hit the big puberty. More specifically, ensure that you are prepared to talk about sex-oriented topics your kid sees on TV or the internet. You might want to talk about rape, masturbation, sex-orientation, and so forth.

Age 12 -15

By this age, your child is already formulating his or her own rules. That is why it pays to check in on her frequently to offer better context for sex-related opinions and information she is getting. You don’t want to go overboard lest you get tuned out by the child.

General Tips

#1. Start Early: Help your kid walk through the sex talk as early as age 8

#2. Let it flow naturally: Bring up the sex talk whenever the topic comes up naturally. You want to avoid overkill especially for teenagers (13-15)

#3: Let it be an ongoing conversation: don’t make it a one-sitting talk. As your child grows, you’ve to be there to put things into a better context.

#4. Go Beyond the Baby-Making Talk: In today’s ever-changing society, it is best to talk about sensitive subjects like sex-orientation, rape, masturbation, and so forth.

#5 Use Question for Questions: If you want to drive the message home more efficiently, ask your kids questions about sex as well. You’d be surprised how much they know. Armed with this information, you will be better prepared to give answers.


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