By Adam Scott
So there are things in life that each of us as parents have to go through… from the midnight feedings (and the 4 am ones) to the first day of school and the queer mix of heartbreak and pride that it brings us. However, when it comes to raising boys there are some universal experiences that all parents of boys have in common! Here are the top fifteen things that only the parents of boys will understand!
- According to an article at the Huffington Post, one of the more prominent differences between raising a boy and a girl is the rate at which the boys will destroy their clothing. They will rip/tear/stain/discard/lose and quickly grow out of clothes… although the plus side in their wanton disregard for what they wear is that you can pretty much buy them anything and they’ll put it on in the morning without much dispute. Till they wreck it.
- According to today.com (and numerous other sources) boys love everything with wheels. That ranges from diggers to trains, aeroplanes to quad bikes. You will be expected to learn them all and be happy about it!
- Pee Everywhere! On the bathroom floor, on the toilet seat, pee in the bedroom – just generally pee everywhere. It’s hard to learn to aim, so give the poor tykes the benefit of the doubt and make sure they confine their bathroom business to the bathroom.
- Boys have a mild fascination with genitalia – that is; playing with their own and asking mothers where theirs is.
- Boys are both noisy and dirty. Where girls can often play with their toys for hours, it is often a different story for boys. Whether they are busy with their cars or playing a superhero: everything has to be accompanied by sound, from a loud scream to shooting sounds. It is therefore almost never quiet in your home.
- Lego. Lego. And then Lego again. They will be everywhere and yet strangely, when you try to pick it all up, it is nowhere to be found. This plastic ninja waits in every room of the house and its prickly corners upturned will be there to meet any bare foot. You have been warned.
- Food never lasts in your house. If you’re the proud parent of boys you will know only the constant ache of an empty fridge. They will eat you out of house and home if you let them.
- Whether your boy/boys are four or fourteen – there will be hormones. People assume that girls will be the moody ones, but anyone can fall victim to the hazy anger caused by growth hormones. Remember they’re going through changes which will effect their mood.
- Boys have very different humor than girls. Fart and poo jokes are fun for them and for most boys, the dirtier the joke, the greater the fun. In a house full of boys the fart and poop jokes fly around a lot and sometimes in public they can produce somewhat embarrassing situations.
- We do not want to generalize, but in general (except for some exceptions), boys are a bit bolder and wilder than girls. This means that a fun performance can suddenly end on a battlefield, including bruises and a tooth through the lip. Boys have a lot of energy, and they often express that in a somewhat physical way. Frolicking and fighting is part of how they play.
- Sooner or later you will probably have to go to the hospital or send for First aide. Climbing everywhere and jumping, cycling on one wheel, letting things explode, experimenting with matches — boys find it all very attractive. Once their “experiment” goes wrong you will end up on the first aid table with a giant bump or a hole in the head.
- People feel sorry for you. You probably know it: that compassionate look or stare you receive when you say you only have sons. Just as if raising boys is less fun than raising girls. A house full of boys also has its advantages though. Boys are often much more easy-going than girls and shopping for a boy usually is so much easier. Another advantage to having boys is that boy quarrels are solved much faster than girl quarrels. They just collide, say sorry and the air is cleared again.
- Mother/Son Bond. We do not know precisely what it is, but the bond between a mother and her son is often extra special. You are the first great love of your son’s life, and you will always stay that way.
- We leave you with one final point; that boys will turn everything into weaponry: a stick, banana, a ruler, if necessary, the cat… everything can go for a sword or a pistol. According to Yahoo News, playing with toy guns is healthy, natural and in no way leads to delinquent behavior.
- adult… Now that is reassuring!